im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Randomize
