he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
