i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Randomize
