My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize
