i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
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