I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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