last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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