that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
