just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
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