Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
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