it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
