if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
it's like heaven, but drunker
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
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