just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
