oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
