heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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