I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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