And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
