No, you can still breathe under the balls.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Randomize
