I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
