Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
I'm drive I can fine osifer
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Randomize
