theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Randomize