so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
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