just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
