Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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