I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Randomize
