lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
