their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize