I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
