I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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