how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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