HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize
