Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
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