"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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