Don't EVER smell your tampon
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize