69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Randomize
