We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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