Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
