alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
