dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
