It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Randomize
