It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
