I want you more than these girls want KFC
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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