Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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