Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Randomize
