I feel like abortions should bother me more
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Pants are for mortals
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
