Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
