If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
