i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
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