Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
