I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
