I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
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