I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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