i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
