i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize
