So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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