Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
