Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
