But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
