Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
