i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize