you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
