you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Randomize
