I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
