maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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