Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(619): View more from California

thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina

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(979): View more from Texas

so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.

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(626): View more from California

Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.

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(571): View more from Virginia

the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.

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(330): View more from Ohio

the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land

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(217): View more from Illinois

You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.

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